question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
