In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
