The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
