the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
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Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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