Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
