It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
