No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
