My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Randomize
