Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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