I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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