You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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