just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
