we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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