Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
