imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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