I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
