it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Randomize
