I'm going to jail i love you
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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