real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Randomize
