Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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