found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You ate ashes out of my bong
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
