this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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