I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
