i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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