Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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