Fine. I'll sleep in my office
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize