She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
