is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
