dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Dicks are not precious.
Randomize
