i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
