I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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