One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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