I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
