these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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