Moan for me like Helen Keller
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
