I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize