grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
