your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
