Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
