Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
