If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
