thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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