I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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