i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
