did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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