just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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