Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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