I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
