I love black thongs
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
How naked do you want me to be?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
