so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
