it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
