The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Randomize
