btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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