Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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