When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
