1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
