all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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