we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
