yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
