You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
