We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
