think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
