We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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