Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Randomize
